Drawing us in with intricate guitar arpeggios and a high emotional quotient, D.D.R. opens Don’t Tell Me How to Grieve with poetic prowess and vulnerability as he sings, “I′m listening to the sound of silence, that your absence left behind, memories as loud as thunder, play like a concert in my mind, the note you left hit like a slap, to say with time that I’d be fine, focus on healing me, and take it one day at a time…”
In essence, the song explores the pain of losing someone. D.D.R. shares how he is overwhelmed by grief, anger, and heartbreak. The farewell note and messages about healing bring no comfort. Instead, he shares his raw authenticity and how he feels hurt and abandoned. The repeated refrain and title of the track, “Don’t tell me how to grieve…” shows that no one can decide how another person should mourn.
Fans of 3 Doors Down, The Eagles and Lifehouse will be able to connect with what D.D.R. is sharing, and there is no doubt that the song would be perfect for a film like Manchester by the Sea, Ordinary People, and Rabbit Hole.
As the song continues, D.D.R.‘s anger turns into guilt and regret. He wonders if he could have done something differently to prevent the loss. The repeated “Maybe I should have…” reflects a very natural, painful cycle of self-blame. It reminds us that there is no right way to heal after losing someone he loves.
The electric guitar performances are transcendental and truly have us in awe, whilst D.D.R.‘s delivery is super powerful and really taps into our heart’s centre. Speaking on the release, D.D.R. (Divorced Dad Rock), the brainchild of Stephen Paul, confesses, “This song came from the idea that grief doesn’t follow a schedule and doesn’t look the same for everyone,” says Stephen Paul. “People often mean well when they offer advice, but sometimes the most honest response is simply: don’t tell me how to grieve.”
We love the tarot-inspired visuals and accompanying handwritten lyric video, which adds to the real and tangible emotion of the song. Needless to say, we are in awe, and have added Don’t Tell Me How to Grieve to our New Music Spotlight playlist, and our TIMELESS playlist, whilst we continue to stream the wider discography of D.D.R., including Anything Less Than More.