Let’s be real, during this massive consciousness shift, it’s about time that London had a progressive sober party for queers that doesn’t centre around literal alcoholism. Sadly for our kind, the violent ingraining of alcohol into the LGBTQ+ community not only makes us come off as one dimensional party animals, but also is toxic as fuck for our mental health and wellbeing – and considering it’s not that easy to be an oppressed minority when the only places you have to communicate your feelings are in drunken, drug fuelled spaces or rehab, the time for change had come.
Some context from me so that you know that I am not fucking around, I only drank alcohol for two years when Ada and I were getting sponsored by liquor brands – I mean, the irony and commentary on capitalism is rife, and as soon as I re-gained control of my reality, I stopped and will literally never pollute my body, mind or spiritual journey with alcohol ever again, so you can imagine how happy I was when my NY-LON friend Aisha Mirza who is a living legend, DJ, radio host, writer extraordinaire, transatlantic cultural icon and inventor of MISERY told me she was starting a sober night and mental health collective in London. Shook, I was. More so, misery is designed for QTIBPOC, so community is at the root of the vibe and energy and on an inclusive note, it’s obviously a vegan space too ‘cos miserable people say no to violence to any living beings. Slay.
So what is this awesome space for brown and black emo queers who are unafraid to be their (synonym for unapologetic) selves about? Obviously there is a sense of realism and irony in the name and the branding, but also LOL cos everyone who attends misery is JOYOUS and literally so nice and so warm and so kind and so welcoming and so woke and everyone is THEY (amazingly it was recently hosted at THE YARD which also reads as THEY ARD). FACTS.
The first MISERY event was held at Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, and it was at night, so it was A MOOD. Starting with a dance workshop to loosen up our miserable selves and create a kinetic opportunity to BOND, the night went on to include DJs, food from Queer Masala, an array of exciting non alcohol drinks to stimulate your wellbeing, tarot, therapists and more. i-D magazine was filming, which I am sure will come out soon. Dancing sober is really important, because dancing with alcohol actually offsets any kinetic body technology benefit you gained from dancing, so it’s the patriarchy’s way of keeping you surpassed. Key learning: DANCE SOBER.
Misery Part Deux, officially known as the sad Girl Summer Fair was the event that took place on Sunday at THEY ARD. This time, there were tattoo artists, masseurs and self defence workshops in addition to the DJs, tarot and Queer Masala. Iconic. Welcome to apocalypse training 101. Let your kundalini run wild.
MISERY plans to host more parties, workshops, performances, skill-shares and other events centered around therapeutic practices and ancestral modes of healing, and they’re planning twerkshops, nutrition skill-shares (what to eat when you’re too depressed to move), herb walks, beauty tips (skincare for an apocalypse), draggy sci-fi burlesque shows, board game hangs, kink workshops (consent, trauma & BDSM ) perfume-making, self-defense, and lots and lots of dancing.
This is a really exciting development for the queer and nightlife landscapes both together and separately and from a community perspective what Aisha has invented is a space which is truly free of patriarchal violence. WHAT A LEGEND.
Stay kinetic and sober. Peace // Nikhil, Nik, NEO 10Y
MISERY is a non-judgemental space. They do not police or judge anyone’s relationship to substances or what you do before or after the event. Everyone is welcome, whatever your relationship to substance use and sobriety and MISERY provides a full non-alcoholic drinks menu including cocktails, caffeinated drinks and non-alcoholic beer alongside food designed by QTIBPOC chefs at our club nights.
MISERY events operate on a sliding scale. No QTIBPOC will be turned away for lack of funds. We encourage those who are not queer, trans or intersex people of colour to pay on the higher end of the scale. All ticket sales will go towards event costs and keeping events free for those who cannot otherwise attend. If you would like to support the project, you can donate money via paypal.me/miseryparty, miseryparty@gmail.com. You can also message us if you’d like to donate time / skills / space, or if you’re a QTIBPOC and are interested in joining the collective.